Hallucination of a Lover – “Absence is required to feel a person’s presence more intensely”

( Published : writespace4iw E-magazine  )

Reader’s Comments :

a.)      I read somewhere “A doddering fool dwells on the verge of reality and dream” I suppose we all are be-fooled by one illusion or the other… Write on!

b.)     I always felt when you hit rock bottom..be it financially,emotionally,physically any which way… your truest feelings the rawest emotions well up … and that’s how your note makes me feel …. its almost scary how your flurry almost frenzy of emotions rush in while you are away from concious reality…  its heart wrenching ..honest and bittersweet .. The solace of being hallucinated cannot be better described .. thanks for writing this one…kudos!

c.)  Realistic and pulling. These words reflect our lives. Good job sir !!

 

It’s difficult in today’s world to imagine something good with your eyes open or in proper senses; life is actually better when it’s a hallucination … sensibly one can think, some freak is talking bullshit but experiencing such feeling of being in un-imaginable nirvana is like standing in front of some dream world; it forced me to suspend my bag of frustrations and be lost in painless ecstasy.

I have a burning desire in my heart; each cell in my blood is aroused; it’s a truth that you are gone from real world but in the world of imaginations you are still alive with me and around me; it’s true when I close my eyes and concentrate, not only do I get the eternal peace but can also feel your warmth all around my body.

Embracing me warmly you asked  “Are you happy?”

I took a deep breath and felt the fragrance of your body, replied “I find myself in utter solitude when you in-toxic ate me with the essence of your love ; my emotions are too weak in front of the mighty realty so please keep me hallucinated as long as you can”

You laugh at my answer; kissing my forehead you asked again “Do you want to come with me in my world”

You placed me in a difficult and complicated situation; my body dissects into two – mind says don’t go, if you go, you will actually be called a coward, running away from life, running away from your set of responsibilities God has assigned but my heart says, do what makes you feel healed from all bruises of life; I wish I can keep my body in the real world and can take my soul to the dreamworld where you reside!!!

I stressed myself but why are you getting hazy in front of my imaginations ; opening my eye is not an option , because that will bring me to the real world which you are not a part off , I tried to hold your two much beloved hands but all I felt was air … you’ re gone from my imaginations ….

Suddenly I hear a lady yelling “Sabji get up, it’s seven already!!!”

I got up with and checked my watch; shit its nine seriously; my maid has been trying to wake me up for quite some time and finally my eyes opened in the real world.

Sitting on the bed, asked my maid “Since when are you calling me?”

Keeping the bed tea beside the reading lamp table she replied “Almost five minutes, see your tea is almost cold now “

Taking a sip of tea which was still on the verge of getting cold, I smiled at myself; the city is awake again to start the survival war of millions of people like me, that’s the real world; looked at my smiling wife’s photograph on the wall ; maid has changed the garlands on her photograph ……. It’s actually true “Absence is required to feel a person’s presence more intensely” …. Well she can’t come to my world anymore but in my hallucinations I can always seek my desire in her world.

Office time, time to get ready; emotions between 9am-5pm is non-existent!!!